So I think I'm going to toss out the old trash and go with a newish idea. I've been focused on ideas of unhappiness, resentment, dissatisfaction with where I am and where I think I should be, but I think that is going against one of the biggest pieces of advice I so often give to others. I preach that one should vent and move on, leave the bad behind and embrace the rest. Don't harp on things; don't dwell on the negative.
I spent the last couple weeks since my last critique not thinking about this project at all, rather I threw myself into aesthetically pleasing, commercial silliness and enjoyed the hell out of it. Then when I turned my attention back to this project, I couldn't find the will to move on it. Everything was more interesting, every distracting more promising. That should have been a big flashing sign to me that this project wasn't going anywhere...at least not at this point in my life. I need the escape that comes with walking away from the crap in my life. So why not look at that as a project?
I had a great childhood. There were issues (we were poor, parents divorced, string of random boyfriends through the years, family fights etc) but by and large I had it pretty decent because of certain family members that made it their job to see it was so. Primarily this was my grandma and I think a part why I'm in this mindset is spending the holidays with her. Well, spending the holidays with what's left of her. She's on her last days and a series of seizures and strokes have taken the woman who raised me away except for brief glimpses. But she was the one who introduced me to fantasy novels and took me to my first fan convention. She was the one who took me to the ren faire and encouraged me to get into science. She didn't play video games but she loved watching me play them. Most of the touchstones of who I think of myself as come from her.
So I'm going to embrace that childhood silliness and build scenes that are fun and fantastical. No overarching, world-saving message, just to embrace the good where you can find it and make it if you can't. The first quick versions of this are being done in photoshop for expediency and deadlines, but I want to use photos I've taken and will take to provide backdrops and build these scenes in real space, then photograph them.
Where I'm going is an evolution of where I've been, so I'm not totally pulling the ejection lever. It's just taking a new step along a very widely spaced path.